I Love You (especially) Here
When he was very young, at times, our oldest son would hit me. I remember how hard this was as a new parent. I did not take it well and responded poorly, often with anger; driven by the fear of “what’s wrong with him?”, worse, “what’s wrong with ME?”
My experience is that the single most challenging aspect of being a parent is noticing a child’s pain (beneath whatever confusing outwardly expression it is being expressed as) and loving him there.
We begin telling the story of the Exodus acknowledging our humble beginnings, as idol worshippers, as slaves. Why? Because the origin and essence of God’s love for us is HERE. In the strange space where our pain seeks confounding expression as arrogance, apostasy, hopelessness, helplessness, anger and dissatisfaction. HERE, God hears the truth of our distress and allows the faithful question of “Why” to be heard; even when it cannot be articulated well. As God listens with loving ears to our most undesirable self, we develop the strength to express our wound more clearly, more confidently, knowing that it is being heard. Knowing He will continue to love us no matter how (poorly) we show up.
This fosters a newfound security; one where our bond is not based on performance or behavior. Not dependent on being “good”. It was, it is, and it will always be. It is here that we begin; everything else a commentary on that eternal Truth.
